Guilt is feeling about something that happened in your past. Worry is feeling bad about something you can't control in your future. Both are useless emotions. Yet I find myself engadged in both from time to time although less so often as I have aged.
Relationships are the thing I've considered the most lately. Impossible or possible useless or not. I've been having fun lately. I'm afraid to at times. I feel like I am repeating something I have experienced in the past. I have someone now that is really great and really laid back. It's hard to find that.
Everything is so fake. I guess this is obvious to most people. I guess I was kind of late to realize this. I have a tendancy to get stuck on things. I got stuck on someone for a long long time. It feels like I waited for 1,000 years. Corny but true.
I obey the connection. I obey a godly connection when I've found one. This much I know to do at this point in my life and I would say that I've had three of them. I'm not completely sure. What I am more supprised about is that if you stay open they happen. Maybe I'm kidding myself I'm not sure.
For a while I waited. For nothing really. Idiotic it is. I realize that. I was careless when I was young and I would smile about it. I didn't care maybe because intuitively I knew life would turn out to be a drag.
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