Saturday, July 22, 2006

Email Us!

Email Us!
manoloblahnik@shoestitan.com

Thursday, July 20, 2006

It's Time To Get Sexy Again


Back to reality after my week in La La land. Things are great and I love to put on a sexy shoe like a Manolo. I'm like a Manolo Gangsta now B...

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Snob


This person I knew. Basically I felt I had a godly connection with. I feel I've had a few.

I'm not boasting. I didn't ask god to have such a connection. Or if you are agnostic like I am I did not call upon the life force to feel such an intense bond...I felt and intense bond. Unstoppable everywhere I went. Every place I moved every movement I made I felt this entity this force pulling on me. Suffocating. Breathing. Pushing and pulling. Questioning things at times. Second guessing my judgment. It's faded.

It's true that hearts do fade. It's faded now. I guess it's not true that anything can stay that strong without touch.

When I would have a touch it was something that I can only describe as feeling as if I was everything and everywhere at once. I felt as if I was snow. I felt as if I was green. I felt as if I was a texture. I could not describe I felt as if I was a wheel turning on a roller coaster that repeated it's same cycle around the track for thousands and thousands of years as if all on on earth had left at once and left the lights on and let the train run it's course.

It was quite simply infinite. I know it's boring! I'm sure you have felt this way who has not? Is this not how we feel when we are in love? We feel like we are not anything but sand or snow or pine needles in a lonely cold Vermont forrest.

I felt that way for a while even when I was not directly connected to this person. I foolishly thought that would be enough in my life. I thought I could just hold on to that and that would be enought. But ain't nothing going on but the rent as a fella say. As Desmond would say "that's jacked". LOL.

The Dude Abides. That's for sure. The Dude well, I know your glad I"m out there. Taking it hard for all you sinners.

The Dude well never mind.

Paradise Lost. Paradise Found. I found someone knew and the only thing I can say is it's different. It is that connection and it's new it's just different and I'm older now.

Also I just don't want to repeat past mistakes. I'm not into cocaine or anything of that sort so I don't fit in at big party's. It's ok.

I guess I write because it is or it will always just be a mystery to me what happened. Like in Calculus I have learned to foget why and focus on moving toward the limit. Find limits is more important than finding gold. Imagination is every bit more gold than your boob.

Teaghan Is A Bad Puppy

Teaghan is a Bad Dog!

Why Do We Bring People In To Our Lives?

I met this girl on Nantucket last year and basically things have been amazing. I think this is the first person in my life that I honestly say I feel like I can fully trust.

I don't blame myself in the past or blame the past or the charachters in my past because I know the person I was at that time. In times past. I'm not that person. I don't want to say silly things now that I will look back at in 40 years and laugh at.

I think I can say that in the past I was not the person I wanted to be or was capable of being. I was ugly. I was mean and ugly at times. I was evil maybe and I thought about being mean. I don't feel like that anymore.

Everyone wants everything all of the time. Especially when your young I feel like people think they are going to strike gold. They don't. It causes people to change.

War causes people to change. The War on Terror. The War on Drugs. The War on Religion. The War on Fun. The War on You. The War on Me. The War on Fun. The War on What You Did Last Weekend.

People don't like when you have a good time.

I can't be with someone that's a coke head. I can't watch someone spend my life by snorting it.

I like beer. I like shrimp. Shrimp Stew. Shrimp Bisque Jennyee.

Back to random crappy shitty thoughts about people from the past and the hold it has on the present.

I basically question why we bring people into our lives? Why do we? I became better from enduring one relationship. She became worse it seems.

Go for the gold!

I'm all set with going for the gold, life is too short for sure. Life is what you make it and if you make it death then rest your soul.

Guilt and Worry

Guilt is feeling about something that happened in your past. Worry is feeling bad about something you can't control in your future. Both are useless emotions. Yet I find myself engadged in both from time to time although less so often as I have aged.

Relationships are the thing I've considered the most lately. Impossible or possible useless or not. I've been having fun lately. I'm afraid to at times. I feel like I am repeating something I have experienced in the past. I have someone now that is really great and really laid back. It's hard to find that.

Everything is so fake. I guess this is obvious to most people. I guess I was kind of late to realize this. I have a tendancy to get stuck on things. I got stuck on someone for a long long time. It feels like I waited for 1,000 years. Corny but true.

I obey the connection. I obey a godly connection when I've found one. This much I know to do at this point in my life and I would say that I've had three of them. I'm not completely sure. What I am more supprised about is that if you stay open they happen. Maybe I'm kidding myself I'm not sure.

For a while I waited. For nothing really. Idiotic it is. I realize that. I was careless when I was young and I would smile about it. I didn't care maybe because intuitively I knew life would turn out to be a drag.